Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Retirement, Work Dreams, Drums, and the Children

 I retired from working in the education field for twenty -two months, after working in education for over thirty five years. And since then, I've had dreams of working in education several times a week. The dreams don't stop.

They have changed, however.

I started off dreaming that I was at work, and ... well, as usual. Then, the dreams shifted. I would show up at work, but wasn't aware of my schedule. Then, I'd show up, but told I had to continue working until they figured things out. After that, I dreamt I was told by HR that I "owed" them time. I had to work for another three months or so until I paid off my debt. Sort of like a student loan deal.

Then, arrived at work doing my own thing, and no one seemed to know why I was there or what I was to be doing, including me. Then I 'd start questioning my involvement; do I get paid? I love what I do but if I don't get paid, and don't have a schedule of expectations ...

And sometimes my professors -- and here it gets to be really important, according to my non-objective interpretation -- from the Folkore program at the U of O would show up. I am all mixed up; do I teach 3rd grade, or go into the Folkore side of things?

Last night I had a dream where I arrive at the elementary school, okay, fine. Nice to be with the kids. But before I could get there, I hear drums. A drum circle! So wonderful. A great big huge drum circle! I want to join but, while I do have a drum (in Waking Life, I do, a dumbek) I don't know much about how to play. I really don't know anything about rhythm, beat, bass, etc. Just that I want to DRUM!

So I walk away from the school, and go off in search of the drum.

Clearly, these dreams are telling me that I can still, somehow, in some way, work with kids, but in a new way. A new path. I just have to figure it out. Create a bridge between my own creative self with the children. Because I miss the children.

I really miss the children!

But not the bullshit bureaucracy, crazy parents, and politics.

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