"More Real Then Real": The Persistence Of Memories

 Memory: about four years old, if that. Spread ealged on a bed no covers. Mom, Dad, Grandmother, stuck in doorway to bedroom.  They can't move past the threshold. They're stuck, watching. Waiting. I am waiting. I know "they, " or "it," will arrive soon. I am not afraid. A little anxious a little in awe, but not afraid.

The ceiling above me opens. Like the roofs of an observatory; the sides of the roof slide open, revealing one huge open space exposing the night sky. Full of stars.

I am still in my bed, no covers, on my back, parents and my maternal  grandmother waiting the yellow light of the doorway.

(Odd my father was there; parents divorced when I was about two and I don't ever remembeer my dad in life as a young child.) 

I, on my back, ceiling open, night sky, and then, a giant eagle type of bird comes swooshing down through the sky, through they open roof and captures me. Thing is, I was waiting for him, or, it. I knew it would come, I waited his arrival with a combination of respectful awe, gratitude, and overall weirdness.

The eagle (or whatever bird like being it was, Mothman? Garuda?) was a familiar being that came to take me away. I was never afraid, thought at times aware of the whole "not all about me" vibe. So much more. So many things.

Cats and (Chickens): Energies

 Still missing our nineteen year old cat Mango, who went off on his own to die. We want to get another cat, but not quite ready yet. Looked at some at an adoption event last week; were tempted but the whole thing had Jim depressed and so, we wait. In the meantime. This is what I posted the other day on my Facebook page:

Mango

What a weird day. Last night, talking about how cats were all over this block; that's how we found four of our cats, all strays that just showed up and never left. Haven't seen cats around for some time. This morning, I was in the front yard and saw a calico looking cat in our yard. He or she froze. I spoke gently to it but she dashed away; stopped, looked back at me and froze again before taking off. Wary thing; she ran under the parked cars to the end of the block.  

The day just got better and better: 

Earlier this morning, woke up to a wet floor. The hall was wet, the bathroom floor flooded. Something happened to the pipe under the sink; went to the store to buy a part, it was the wrong size, went back to return it, they didn't have the size we needed.

So that was fun, cleaning all that up.

Also, noticed one of the hooks on the bathroom wall where I had some necklaces hanging had fallen off, onto the floor.

And to wrap things up, watching a movie in the "roku" room, with the big sound, and the sound bar wasn't working. Just kaput. Tried to figure out why it wasn't working but no clue.

Strange energies.

Night before last, had a dream :

that I found a shopping cart with a cat that looked just like Mango, except, it wasn't. Quite. I thought he was dead for he never moved at all, was curled up like he was sleeping. By his feet were two kittens that looked just like him. They were very sweet and friendly, so damn cute! I was angry at the people I lived with, because I would go out of town for a few days at a time and no one was taking care of the cats. "How could you be so cold and cruel as to ignore these babies?" I said. Shrugs on their part. So I decide to stay home and take care of them. 

Last night, dreamt I found a large white cat that looked just like our cat (who passed a few years ago) but it wasn't. It was, but wasn't. (typical dream logic.) He was outside in our bushes; I picked him up but was careful not to hurt him because his front paws were bleeding. He was very sweet and loving. HIs fur got stuck in my white nail polish which wasn't quite dry so I had to remove all my polish before going to a job interview. The woman at the interview mentions I hadn't done my nails. I tell her what happened, she laughed.

Today, out in the yard, I see a beautiful black cat. Never seen it before. Had a collar. Very friendly and sweet; was going back and forth between the neighbor's house and ours. A few moments late, when we went inside, we saw it sitting on our porch. Came right up to us. I assumed it's the new neighbor's  cat since they just moved in a few days ago and the cat is new to the street, plus it was hanging around on the neighbor's porch. 

Then, just to underline the animal energy vibe, I hear, then see, three chickens in my neighbor's driveway across the street. They walked down the drive and across the street in a single line. Her new neighbors recently bought a coop but obviously the chickens managed to get out. 

With all this cat energy around maybe our new cat will come into our lives very soon. I hope so!

 

Hoping For a Trigger

     Something quite obvious occurred to me the other night, while watching a program on UFOs. There are so many UFO shows on television and You Tube, etc. that it’s hard to remember what it was that I was watching. It was on television. No matter. The thing is, I was watching, yet again, another UFO program and I wondered why, after all these years, do I still watch any program that has to do with UFOs, and to a slightly lesser degree, any show that has to do with Bigfoot, ghosts, the paranormal, etc.?

     I haven’t learned anything. Not true; I’ve learned the facts of various cases. Barney and Betty Hill, Kecksburg, Travis Walton. . .

     I’ve learned about triangles and the Phoenix Lights and orbs. All kinds of orbs. Orange orbs. Ah, so that’s it. 

     I watch these shows hoping for a trigger. That by watching UFO programs -- especially ones to do with orbs, orange orbs -- something within my subconscious will shift, and I’ll remember. I’ll remember what happened during the missing time my husband and I experienced during the sighting. I’ll learn just what the orange orb was. I’ll discover why. Why it was there, why I experienced all the strange things in its aftermath. I’ll understand the connection between the orange orb encounter and all the encounters preceding it. Since childhood, I will finally know.

     So far, no such luck. Tried hypnosis, which turned out to be a waste of money. I expected a deep dive into a dramatic uncovering of memory. Instead, it was a gentle fun but empty guided sort of meditation. (“You are walking down a hall and see a painting. What is in the painting?”) Bleh. 

     I’m trying a remote viewing kind of thing. I have my husband involved, though he doesn’t know what it’s about. Just a target number I gave him. So far, nothing. 

     I draw and paint and try to work out through my art if something will suddenly erupt in a big There It Is! moment.

      I continue to watch to see if there are other witnesses who have had similar encounters. There are lots of sightings of small orange orbs far off in the sky. Footage exists all over the place of those kinds of orbs. Not just orange but red, green, blue, yellow. There are some cases of large orange orbs, like the one I saw, and the sense from the witness that the orb was aware, intelligent, playing with the witness. That’s what I experienced. One happened in Oregon, near the gorge, also in the nineteen eighties. Connected? 

     So far, no answers. Interesting elements, but no answer. And now that I’m in my sixties I wonder if I’ll ever find out. 

Geometric Oracle Dream

 

The other day I posted about hearing a voice call out "Nigel!"

Last night I dreamt that I was telling Barbara Fisher (host of the podcast Six Degrees of John Keel) about this experience. As I was telling Barbara about the voice, she was giving a reading to someone. The deck was not a traditional tarot deck, but an oracle card deck, one that had geometric shapes on them. Each shape was very important. It all had to do with fractal geometry. As she was explaining the meanings to the client, ectoplasm appeared around her, and white-golden shimmering light.

Next to me was Jim, wearing one of his McMinnvilee UFO Fest t-shirts. A man walked by, pointed at Jim and said "Oh yeah, we got you! Have to talk to you about this!"

And that is all.

Who is Nigel?

Weird experience last night. Since going through chemo, I've had a hard time getting to sleep at night. As usual, my brain was going a million miles a second until three in the morning. Suddenly I hear, very distinct, loud and sharp, Jim yell from the living room "NIGEL!!" 

Naturally I wondered what the heck was Jim doing out in the living room at three a.m, and, who the hell is Nigel? (Our only animal friend in the house is a cat and his name is Mango.) I then realize Jim is right next to me, sound asleep. As was Mango.

Kind of spooky. I was awake. 

Nigel: name meaning and origin - BabyCentre UK: 11 is one of the two "master numbers" of numerology. Those who possess it are highly intuitive, and have a strong sense of spirituality.

The number 11 is known as a "master number" because it has its own unique and powerful vibrations. Those influenced by it tend to find inner strength in times of trial, coping well with crisis and chaos. 

Also odd: Mango is eighteen. Poor guy has a cataract, is deaf in one ear, and for the past year has been meowing/crying at night. He sleeps on the bed with us but gets up a lot and will start his yowling when he's out in the living room. Then he starts up again around six a.m. Last night he was very calm and didn't yowl at all. He had left the bedroom at some point and slept on the couch in the living room, which I found surprising since I hadn't heard him cry.