Saturday, January 27, 2007
Of Non-Dreams and Aliens: A Personal Tale
Johann Heinrich Fussli
This is the kind of stuff that annoys a lot of people (particularly skeptics; but then again, everything annoys them) but I can’t help that. It’s what it is. It’s part of the UFO Gestalt, it’s a part of my story, my experience, my journey. Yeah, I know, it sounds a bit New Agey to me too. Well, so what? It’s true, and there you are.
I’ve always had an active dream life, as I’ve written before. Last night I had a strange dream -- or, “non-dream” -- I’ve never had this experience before.
When I dream, it’s always an active, involved, busy thing: a plot (no matter how surreal or ludicrous) people, creatures maybe, I’m a part of it, I’m out of it watching, point of view always changing; but always I see people. (“I see dream people.”) There’s always a scene, a picture.
Last night, I dreamt, but there was no picture. None. Very weird. The words were active; there were voices, but no picture. Just the swirling colors of utter abstractions; just like when you close your eyes and you don’t see anything except the mish mosh of colors.
The dream story was about aliens; which were everywhere. Invisible, but everywhere. Then a voice was telling me that “much of my whole UFO thing” started with ‘Scott ‘(I’ll call him that, an old boyfriend of mine) and we had an experience together. And the voice said “Remember that blue light and silver craft?” and at the moment the voice said that, I said “Shit!” because it all came back to me. At this same moment the murky non-picture began to turn into something a little bit; on the upper right corner of the ‘screen” part of the UFO began to come through the haze (a silver round craft) and with it, part of an alien. This alien was a tall “gray.” I knew without any hesitation at all that this voice, reminding me of an event with “Scott,” was true.
I didn’t like this one damn bit and woke up, scared, very uncomfortable.
I told my husband about this dream. After a long silence, with him staring off into space (“Great,” I thought. “Here we go again, where this will all go nowhere, or turn into a tension filled morning. . .” which sometimes happens when we try to talk about our experiences) he says “I often wonder if I should find out about regression.” Then he brought up our first missing time experience, once again saying how very odd it all was. “I don’t see how a space ship could be the cause, not in L.A.” he said. Excellent point. Then again, we know better.
I realized too, that none of my dreams involving aliens are good. The aliens are not kindly beings here to help us. At best, they’re coldly detached, and maybe even outright malevolent. This feeling of malevonence could be my own fear at remembering the whole experience, and not an accurate depiction of “them." Or, it could be them, indeed. Of course, none of the this could have a damn thing to do with UFOs or alien beings (extra terrestrial or otherwise.)
My husband said something else this morning; that one weird experience could be chalked up to just one of those things. “But look at the pattern,” he said. “Look at the history here.”
After that first missing time experience in West Hollywood (where we arrived home at 4:00 am, looked at each other and said “Well, that’s weird!” then just went promptly to bed, where we didn’t wake up once until 4:00 pm the next day) I began having all kinds of UFO dreams, including what I call “The Geisha Woman” dream. (tall, white gray face “woman” in a kimono sitting across from me inside a spaceship. I’m very angry but also scared; they took my husband away and “they” are keeping us apart.) This was before Budd Hopkins, Strieber, etc.
He went on: “Then that second time on Lorane Highway, with the silver craft, and the orange orb, and missing time, and your dreams. . .”
Well, there it is. What is means, I don’t know. But it seems that, among other things, this connection, or these experiences, go back a long way.
Jeremy Vaeni asked me why I don’t just come out and admit I’m an abductee. After all, look at the history, beginning in childhood, look at the pattern and relationship with my husband, look at my passion here with UFOs. I’m clearly trying to find out something.
And yet, I’m visiting the Nile, apparently.
However, I cannot say “I’m an abductee” and have never said so. (despite the insistence of a few trolls out there who say such things on their website) I have no memory of seeing aliens, or being abducted. Dreams, while exceedingly interesting and useful, aren’t enough to base that conclusion on. And while the sum of my experiences point to something Fortean/paranormal/possibly alien, I can’t make that assumption.
It’s possible there’s been some kind of relationship with these beings/UFOs that doesn’t translate to “abduction.” Maybe some people are “programmed” to remember their relationships as abductions, maybe they are two different things, maybe it’s the government playing mind control games.
So for now, I’ll just continue to do what I’m doing, and see where it takes me.