Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Silly UFO Dream:Knocking Penn Gillette Right on His Keister
I know, reading about other people’s dreams is usually boring. But this one was funny, silly, and I’m sure pointless. So of course I’ll share it with you.
Starts off I’m going to go on the Phil Donahue program to be interviewed about UFOs. Keeping with dream logic, it didn’t matter that Phil hasn’t his own show for a hundred years. Anyway.
I’m pretty excited about that of course. No pay, but they were going to give me a free make-over and I could keep the high end fashion dress and accessories they were going to put me in. Naturally I went for it.
The dresser/make-up artist, young, blonde, very skinny, very ultra cosmo hip, and snooty as hell, comes with me. She’s insisting I try on these god awful dresses. I keep telling her what I don’t like, and that’s what she brings me every time! I’m being nice but come on. Then she tells me I’m “being difficult.” I pull rank on her: "I’m the guest, dahling, and I’m old enough to be your mother, so stop being so defensive and believe that I’m not out to get you, I just don’t look good in yellow and really dahling, I abhor puce.”
I end up in a pretty little number, a bit young and girly for me but it’s all right.
Time for the show. Which takes place in a shoddy basement turned rec room kind of space. The audience is up above, surrounding us; like in an operating theater. Phil’s nice; both he and the audience seem geniunely interested in UFOs. But, I’m astounded, and pretty pissed, to see Penn and Teller there. WTF???!!!! I call the producers on their lying ways, but too late. Anyway, my ego takes over; I want to discuss UFOs, and here I am.
So I wax poetic on the topic, amazing everyone. Penn is sitting back in his swivel chair, feet up on a table, making rude noises at me the whole time. Finally he makes some stupid ass comment about the whole thing; typical pathological skeptic stuff. I just look at him. I mean, one hell of a great look full of dripping disdain that says it all. It clearly says “I’m not even bothering responding to that crap!”
The Look is so intense and all powerful it knocks him out of his chair. He mumbles something about never in his career has anyone shot him down like that, and he leaves.