Friday, October 30, 2009
An Intent Experiment: Retrieivng Missing Time
Probably inspired in part by the dream post the other day, I've decided to experiment with the intent of remembering. An attempt to retrieve the period of time missing in my (our) missing time episode so many years ago, when I saw the orange orb that seemed to respond to my thoughts and follow us home. (I know, it screams "I Was Chased By A Flying Saucer!") Hypnosis might seem faster, more efficient and just more reasonable all around, but, aside from the praticall matter of money (and how do we explain that to the insurance company?) this is at least equally as interesting. It's also a baby step, maybe, towards undergoing hypnosis.
I'm still out on the whole hypnosis thing. Even if I I'm telling the truth as I know it, is that still the truth? That's one of the big questions I have surrounding this whole thing. I may think I really saw aliens, was taken aboard a craft, (or, not) but how could I ever know that that is what really did happen? Corroboration would give some support to my experience; if my husband has the same story then that would verify the veracity of our stories. Still...I wonder. Maybe it's just what we were led to believe happened; it doesn't mean it did happen.
Then of course, there's the question of: why am I so reticent about not accepting Alien Abduction Scenario 101?
There are other questions that aren't as fun or interesting. For example, what if we both just went mentally off the rails for a few hours? Or someone slipped drugs into our iced teas? Or it was just so damn long ago, nothing at all happened in any way? Come to think of it, when I look at those possibilities, they seem as ridiculous as alien abductions.
I think something very strange happened, and even paranormal-mystical-alien related. But I don't think it was alien abduction in fact, I don't think alien abductions are literally alien abductions at all. But then there are the damn edges of memory, like the paralyzing, terrifying dreams I had after the orb sightingand missing time events. Why that particular scenario?
Just keeps going around and around.
I think what I'm doing is PAAAR: Passive-Aggressive Alien Abduction Retrieval. (I made that up.) It can't be true, it's just too ridiculous, even while I maintain there are most certainly aliens walking amongst us. I don't want to go through hypnosis (yet) (maybe) for a variety of reasons. I wouldn't trust what came out of any session anyway. Context and coincidences are intriguing as hell, but what do they prove? And how much can be trusted?
And then there's my spouse, who has gone through the same missing time episodes as I, and his own body of UFO related experiences. I feel very strongly there is a trust here and a responsibility; if I go traipsing off to some hynosis, whatever gets uncovered means he has to deal. Maybe he isn't ready to deal. I can't just throw all this in his face. Something like this has to be mutual, embarked upon together.
I think I made a subconscious pact with myself that I'll get to the bottom of this before I die. I have a ways to go yet; I plan on living until I'm at least 95, which gives me a good forty years or so to play with. I'm just taking my time.
Post script: So I just flat out asked my spouse how he feels about going through hypnosis in the context of our UFO and missing time experiences, he said he "supposes" he's for it.
In the meantime, I'll continue to explore my dream time.