For the past few nights, I've been saying to Jim just before we go to sleep "meet me in the orb." I've been working with the intent of retrieving memories about that sighting, as readers know, for awhile now. Using dreams, art, discussion, meditation, among other methods (though not hypnosis) -- and, in fact, I've been playing around with a journal type format of all this -- I, we, hope to uncover details and the missing parts of our experiences involving missing time and the sightings.
I was out of town last night, visiting family. Jim wasn't with me. I had the a very uncomfortable dream last night; and at first think, it appears it was just a typical anxiety fest about returning to work, the new school year, the anniversary of Jim's heart attack coming up, etc. That's what someone said to me when I told her my dream: "Wow, you're really anxious about losing control," she said. And that's likely the main level of the dream. But as I was driving back to town today, it hit me; there's a small glimmer here of something related to the orange orb sighting as well; a little tear in the veil that's been obscuring that encounter for so many years, but first, the dream:
Jim and I are together as I go back to my workplace. Haven't been back there all summer, I see they painted the school, there's lots of new school staff. I'm bothered by this only because it makes me feel insecure, but it's okay. People seem nice, the new paint looks lovely. The classroom I work in bother me however; there are several new people there as well, which is okay and actually normal for that milieu, but my desk has been replaced by a teeny little piece of metal, like a TV tray. My supervisor apologizes and says she didn't think I'd mind or that it would make a difference. But the big thing is; they've changed my job! Now I'm in charge of the computers. "But," I say, "I don't know anything about computers, I'm not qualified!" They laugh it off, telling me I"ll do fine, that I use computers all the time, so what's the problem? I say it's like the difference between knowing how to drive a car, and how to fix one. I can drive, I know enough to do things like keep the gas tank full, air in the tires, the oil changed, -- but if somethings wrong, I don't know how to fix it, I take it to the mechanic. I'm not a mechanic. Then I go into another room, and it's full of nurses and doctors and medical people. Jim is on a gurney, hooked up to machines. He's very agitated, very upset, very very anxious. He's never like that, ever... so that freaks me out, and I get upset. A nurse comes over, leads me out of the room, tries to calm me down. Tells me I have to stay in this other room until they come get me. Jim's fine, they tell me, it's a normal, every day procedure they're doing, and nothing to worry about. I sit there, and occasionally people -- other school staff, or whoever -- come in, to get supplies. The room I'm in is some kind of work room/storage room, so people come and go to grab paper, etc. The dress I'm wearing has a tube top type top, and it keeps falling down, exposing me. I'm not happy about this of course and worry people will see me, so I keep holding it up.
Okay, all seems very 'Returning To Work and Worried About Hubby's Health 101,' except for:
The dark haired nurse, even though she was short with short hair, reminded me of the tall, dark haired "Geisha" woman in the space ship-orange orb dream I've written about. Jim is being kept away from me, or me, away from him, we're being forcibly separated from each other, another element in the Geisha dream. Jim is utterly uncharacteristically panicked. And the dress I was wearing in last night's dream: a dress I actually owned at the time we had our missing time and orange orb sighting. Everything about the dress in the dream was the same: color, design, fabric... everything. Except in reality it never fell off of my body like it did in the dream.