This year has found me working on consciously recovering the facts/reality of my UFO events, including missing time. I don't think hypnosis is the answer, although I find myself arguing with myself about it a lot. Meanwhile, I've been trying to remember, through meditation, dream work, and just plain demanding my suppressed memories to come forth, goddammit! and get real here. The following is a dream I had last night but before I relate the dream, here's the background:
I wrote about the missing time experience here: Missing Time Los Angeles/West Hollywood 1996 or '97 Jim and I were compelled to walk down a side street; something about a light coming from a parking garage. We both remember feeling there was something odd about it and went towards it. As I wrote in the post on Saucer Sightings, this was when all kinds of UFO related events, dreams, etc. started happening.
I'm in a city, daytime. Jim is with me, or nearby. . . I/we get an urgent call, a telepathic "call," from a friend. Or is it Jim, who's already there? Either way, telepathic message of urgency comes to meet him/her/them at a parking garage a few blocks away.
I/we get over there fast. We're walking when this happens, so we kind of run over there. Arriving at the garage, there is no friend. In fact, there isn't anyone around. The city seems to be a ghost town. No people. Just us. And about a half dozen aliens.
The aliens are very human looking; a little weird looking, but human. Around six and half feet tall, maybe taller. Their skin is pale white, but again, they are more human looking than not. They're all wearing the same uniform, a skin tight, thin, blue jumpsuit with yellow and silver trim. I'm the only human (for they look human, and could pass for human, but I know they're not) around. Jim is off in another part of the garage, I know this telepathically.
Two or three of these beings grab me, which is ridiculous I think. (A lucid moment in the dream.) They're men, they're tall and big, why would it take three of them to hold me? But they're kind of weak. It's all show. They're not hurting me but I still don't like this. I don't like being tricked, I don't like being held here against my will. I have no choice. I'm angry, screw them!
They're holding me and one of the beings comes over to me, and presses himself against me, on top of me. It seems sexual and almost like rape, except, it isn't anything physical he wants. We remain clothed, there's no genitalia (I'm not sure they have any) and while it's very much an intrusion, it's not sexual. He doesn't want my body, he wants me - my soul, or ...something. He presses himself into me, in a sense. Sort of lke a Vulcan mind meld, as silly as that sounds. He's taking something from me, but he's also giving me a bit of something as well.
Then he's done, the others release me, and they're pleased with themselves. Me, I'm still pissed. I don't care if they didn't hurt me, or that Jim is now back, and we can go. I'm angry at the whole thing: the ruse, the assumption they can just take what they want, the lack of communication or explanation, let alone asking permission.
When I told Jim my dream the first thing he said was that "obviously" I was remembering something about that night in West Hollywood. He thinks, as do I, that night was the beginning of our UFO journey.
How much is memory of a real event, how much is my own subconscious creativity and taking from what I know to create something? The event happened at night, yet I dreamt it took place during the day. Uniform clad "aliens," -- MILABS? I mentioned those in a post here the other day; do I think humans were involved in some of this? I don't know. . . I really just do not know. . . is that a memory of a true event, or my fears?