Thursday, December 21, 2006

And A Merry Alien UFO Christmas to All!

(Updated to include Danile Brenton's "The Twelve Alien Days of Christmas")

"Suppose that the elf in question spends one second per house. This isn't the usual picture--'Ho Ho Ho' and so on--but I imagine he is terribly efficient and very speedy; that would explain why no one sees him very much. With 108 houses he has to spend three years just filling stockings. I've assumed he spends no time at all in going house to house. Even with hyper-relativistic reindeer, the time spent in 108 houses is three years and not eight hours..."~Carl Sagan, on the "Santa Claus Hypothesis"

Yes, but Carl, it's called magick!

Christmas. The time of year when fundamental zealots demonstrate their thuggery and paranoia by lamenting in public forums how “the left stole Christmas.” Time for the the non-religious but vaguely superstitious kind of,sort of,Christians experience vague free floating anxiety. This time of year many Jews and non-Christians experience conflicting emotions. As my husband commented to me the other night, “Only you would be playing Christmas CDs while lighting the Menorah.”

As for myself, I’ll occasionally tweak the incessantly grinning xian who gets in my face about “Merry Christmas” if they’re pulling some passive -aggressive political tactic on me, but otherwise, I’m comfortable with my expression of it all. Being the only Jewish Pagan whatever on the job, I was the one who brought in the Christmas decorations and wore my Santa hat. I do what I do, and I like it. Twinkling lights and home made fudge and gifts, because I want to. Toys for Tots and lots of cheer. I’m not making a statement, or maybe I am, but I’m having a great time this season, Yule, Solstice, Hanukkah, whatever. It’s the season, yes, and what it means and why is different for everyone. I’m not trying to take away anything from anyone, but I'll celebrate, share and observe the way I choose.

It is a magickal time of year. Any way you choose.

UFOs aren’t exempt from the Christmas season either. It’s where the could be reality of ET meets the commercial lore of Santa Claus and the sacred myth of Christmas. Somewhere in between the two is a merging of realities. Aliens turn green as they meet elves. Scientists use Santa Claus to explain science. The market place appropriates it all and repackages it for us in strange blends. It’s just part of the season, and the Trickster energy inherent within UFOlogy and Forteana.

It's interesting, all the greenery. Green aliens, green elves, green Grinches, little green men, The Green Man . . . What it means, many have pondered. Including me. There seems to be an obvious relationship with this and nature energies. Which in turn leads to a terrestrial based hypothesis for alien entities. All just seasonal musings for the moment.

Five Alien Elves, by Gregory Mcguire:

”Tis the night before Christmas, and a strange vehicle appears in the sky above Vermont. Is it Santa's sleigh drawn by reindeer? No, it's five aliens from the planet Fixipuddle, caught in Earth's gravity and plummeting to the ground.

The aliens tune into a broadcast movie, and see Santa Claus forcing enslaved elves to make spies for him, and then sneaking into houses in the middle of the night to plant his spies and steal food and drink. The Fixipuddlians decide to free Earth from this evil tyrant, and set out across the snow, disguised as elves.”

(Just from reading that bit above I get images of MIBS and Black Ops screwing with Christmas . . .)

A Christmas play from 1997:Santa Claus Meets the Christmas Alien, by Sonia Brock. Here’s one little scene:

Santa: Mr. Zongo you are pretty small. Are you strong?

Zongo: Honk, honk! (He lifts Santa as he speaks)

Mrs. Hummingbeak: He’s going to kidnap Santa. It’s a alien abduction. Help! Help!

Zongo: Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk!

T. Kitten: He says Mrs. Hummingbeak should stop watching the X-Files.

Mrs. Hummingbeak: Well, I never....... I’ve been insulted by a little green alien from the planet, Zip.

You can order Alien Christmas scenes from Center Stage Productions. (Really expensive!)

An article musing onChristmas on Mars by Debbie St. Germain.

A campus tour:Christmas Around the Galaxy.

For your Christmas/Holiday music collection, there’s Fountains of Wayne “I Want an Alien for Christmas.”

And Daniel Brenton writes on his blog The Meaning of Existence and All That The Twelve Alien Days of Christmas."

And finally,we can’t forget about The Grinch. He’s big, and he’s green. He’s not an elf, he’s not an alien, or at least, not an ET. He’s something . . . another blending of images and lore. A Christmas classic, and in typical Trickster like expression, written by Dr. Seuss, who was Jewish.

Whatever you celebrate, Happy Holidays! Be safe, be true. . .

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