Childhood Memory: Giant Eagle-Bird in the Ceiling

Childhood Memory:  Giant Eagle-Bird, oil pastel on paper, Regan Lee 2021

Memory. Logic tells us, me, it was "just a dream" of course. But I remember this as real. It really happened.

I was four? In my bed, no covers. Right in the middle of the bed, spread eagled. (no pun intended.) I was, as usual, waiting for "them." I knew when they would come -- whoever they were. Or, whatever they were.

The only thing I remember in the bedroom was the bed -- no covers -- with me on it, right in the middle of the bed, no covers, and waiting. The ceiling opened up. Slid open, like the panels in the roof of an observatory. 

I wasn't scared, but, I was in awe. I knew I was safe, but also, that this was important.  Meanwhile, my father and mother and grandmother were standing in the bedroom doorway (no door) surrounded by yellow light. They could not come in. Not because they didn't want to, but because they couldn't. They are being held back by some kind of force. Something was keeping them from entering.

Meanwhile, the ceiling. Open. Only sky. Night time sky, beautiful brilliant stars. And a huge bird, with a wingspan to immense it almost covered the entire sky. Wing tip to wing tip across the bedroom roof.

And I was waiting for it. Him, her, I don't know. I don't think it was either. Or, it was both. But I knew "it' would come, and take me.

And I was not afraid. I was in awe. I was amazed. I was happy "they" were back. But, not scared.

I never had a bedroom that was stark -- meaning, just the bed in the middle of the room. And I don't remember having siblings at the time. I am the oldest, so I was at most, six. But I know I was younger. I remember it being the Corning Street house (in L.A.) so, no siblings yet. 

Also, strange my father would be there. My parents were divorced at that time and I don't remember him being around that much then. My grandmother however, did stay with us.