Last night's dream:
I'm playing around with various drawings, paintings, etc. of "the Orange Orb." Uploaded to my computer, and I'm trying to get it just right. But as soon as I seem to get a hold of something, and get the colors, shapes, etc. just right, it jumps away from me. Zooms away. Morphs. Collapses.
So damn frustrating! I keep trying. No good. Hundreds of my drawings, paintings, mixed media works concerning the Orange Orb appear on my screen. And none will hold still. Not one will let me fix it.
And then I find, many of my Orange Orb drawings have been stolen and put up on sites with no credit to me, or explanation, but just rip offs of my work.
I feel frustrated, confused, angry, and sad that some think the "truth" behind the orb is not important, simply a trifle, another motif in the realm of para-tainment.
Today, I reworked an oil pastel of the "orange orb" and was very happy with where it was going. Sanding away layers. Adding color. Highlights. Loved the aura, or halo effect. around the orb. And then, I don't know what happened, but suddenly the drawing just ... sucked. I couldn't get it back. Tried watercolors, taking away layers, etc. Big fat mess.
Fortunately, I have a lot more 'orange orb' drawings to play with.
Art. Expression, creative communications. Not only with others, but the self. Part of me believes that playing with my art-self, I will find the answer. Okay, maybe not the answer, but an answer. Similar to interpreting dream symbols, or using an Oracle of some kind or the Tarot, the symbols, the synchronicities, the resonant memories will reveal a truth. Or an answer.
The Orange Orb, or, A Big Fat Mess, oil pastel on black paper, Regan Lee 2021
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