"Alien Abductions" and PTSD

By the Beside While Dreaming, sketch by Regan Lee 2016

I wrote "alien abductions" in quotes because, sigh, I don't know why. I believe there are literal aliens out there in space -- ETs -- who have manipulated us since the beginning. I believe they're here now. But when it comes to alien abductions, I don't know what to think. I don't disbelieve anyone who remembers their experiences. I don't dismiss them with smug and condescending trivial statements that they simply experienced sleep paralysis, or have mental disorders, or … something. But I don't know what to think. I tend to be more accepting of government involvement (as in MILABS) than I do with the literal idea of actual aliens from space (or inner earth, below the seas, or within our solar system) committing such awful acts. But then again . . .

So, along with the UFO folklore (used in its purest academic form and not to mean "false") of humans with Rh negative blood, working in the healing or teaching professions, and having Celtic or Native American ancestry, (all of which I have) is that many abductees have PTSD. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.)

Many of us have this due to all kinds of reasons, including child hood traumas. But in my case, I'm thinking here of the specific context and relationship to alien abductions. While living on Friendly St. in Eugene, where we saw the Orange Orb and had missing time, I had my first easily recalled moment of a high stress reaction. I had set up a little writing nook in an unused closet -- a perfect spot for a desk and chair. I remember my husband Jim coming up behind me and I literally screamed, I was so frightened. He was both amused and a little weirded out by my reaction. "I'm the only other one here" he said. "Who -- or what -- did you think I was?!" I thought my reaction was odd too. But I've reacted this way since. Easily startled; very easily startled. I sometimes startle myself just standing there.

Here are symptoms of PTSD from the National Center for PTSD; my comments are in blue.

There are four types of PTSD symptoms:

1. Reliving the event (also called re-experiencing symptoms)
Memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time. You may feel the same fear and horror you did when the event took place. For example:
• You may have nightmares. Certainly something I continue to experience. Again this is related to the context of UFOs. After the orb sighting, I had a series of nightmares -- so severe I sought counseling. 
• You may feel like you are going through the event again. This is called a flashback. Not literal recall of the event -- and in fact, that is why I do not say I am an abductee, since I don't remember specifics of any such thing. But see below:
• You may see, hear, or smell something that causes you to relive the event. This is called a trigger. News reports, seeing an accident, or hearing a car backfire are examples of triggers. Images of some types of aliens, scenes, etc. do this to me, as well as being in certain locations. 
2. Avoiding situations that remind you of the event
You may try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. You may even avoid talking or thinking about the event. For example:
• You may avoid crowds, because they feel dangerous.Yes, though to be accurate, I have always felt this way.
• You may avoid driving if you were in a car accident or if your military convoy was bombed.
• If you were in an earthquake, you may avoid watching movies about earthquakes. I'm curious about the other side of this; an obsession with immersing ones self in the very thing. In this case, UFOs.
• You may keep very busy or avoid seeking help because it keeps you from having to think or talk about the event.
3. Negative changes in beliefs and feelings
The way you think about yourself and others changes because of the trauma. This symptom has many aspects, including the following: 
• You may not have positive or loving feelings toward other people and may stay away from relationships.
• You may forget about parts of the traumatic event or not be able to talk about them.
• You may think the world is completely dangerous, and no one can be trusted.
4. Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal)
You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. You might suddenly become angry or irritable. This is known as hyperarousal. Yes…
 For example:
• You may have a hard time sleeping.
• You may have trouble concentrating. 
• You may be startled by a loud noise or surprise. Definitely. 
• You might want to have your back to a wall in a restaurant or waiting room. Yes. Or, could be I read too many spy/suspense novels.  

I wonder if humor is a part of this -- using humor as a deflection, an expression, and a way to both avoid yet confront the event. I know I use humor a lot. The list above mentions avoidance quite a bit, but on the other hand, I wonder about obsession, or, if that sounds too judgmental, an avid interest in the event. Since that orb sighting, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, or anything else remotely connected. That rabbit hole is endless, bottomless, and I'm still tumbling down…