"Alien Abductions" and PTSD

By the Beside While Dreaming, sketch by Regan Lee 2016

I wrote "alien abductions" in quotes because, sigh, I don't know why. I believe there are literal aliens out there in space -- ETs -- who have manipulated us since the beginning. I believe they're here now. But when it comes to alien abductions, I don't know what to think. I don't disbelieve anyone who remembers their experiences. I don't dismiss them with smug and condescending trivial statements that they simply experienced sleep paralysis, or have mental disorders, or … something. But I don't know what to think. I tend to be more accepting of government involvement (as in MILABS) than I do with the literal idea of actual aliens from space (or inner earth, below the seas, or within our solar system) committing such awful acts. But then again . . .

So, along with the UFO folklore (used in its purest academic form and not to mean "false") of humans with Rh negative blood, working in the healing or teaching professions, and having Celtic or Native American ancestry, (all of which I have) is that many abductees have PTSD. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.)

Many of us have this due to all kinds of reasons, including child hood traumas. But in my case, I'm thinking here of the specific context and relationship to alien abductions. While living on Friendly St. in Eugene, where we saw the Orange Orb and had missing time, I had my first easily recalled moment of a high stress reaction. I had set up a little writing nook in an unused closet -- a perfect spot for a desk and chair. I remember my husband Jim coming up behind me and I literally screamed, I was so frightened. He was both amused and a little weirded out by my reaction. "I'm the only other one here" he said. "Who -- or what -- did you think I was?!" I thought my reaction was odd too. But I've reacted this way since. Easily startled; very easily startled. I sometimes startle myself just standing there.

Here are symptoms of PTSD from the National Center for PTSD; my comments are in blue.

There are four types of PTSD symptoms:

1. Reliving the event (also called re-experiencing symptoms)
Memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time. You may feel the same fear and horror you did when the event took place. For example:
• You may have nightmares. Certainly something I continue to experience. Again this is related to the context of UFOs. After the orb sighting, I had a series of nightmares -- so severe I sought counseling. 
• You may feel like you are going through the event again. This is called a flashback. Not literal recall of the event -- and in fact, that is why I do not say I am an abductee, since I don't remember specifics of any such thing. But see below:
• You may see, hear, or smell something that causes you to relive the event. This is called a trigger. News reports, seeing an accident, or hearing a car backfire are examples of triggers. Images of some types of aliens, scenes, etc. do this to me, as well as being in certain locations. 
2. Avoiding situations that remind you of the event
You may try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. You may even avoid talking or thinking about the event. For example:
• You may avoid crowds, because they feel dangerous.Yes, though to be accurate, I have always felt this way.
• You may avoid driving if you were in a car accident or if your military convoy was bombed.
• If you were in an earthquake, you may avoid watching movies about earthquakes. I'm curious about the other side of this; an obsession with immersing ones self in the very thing. In this case, UFOs.
• You may keep very busy or avoid seeking help because it keeps you from having to think or talk about the event.
3. Negative changes in beliefs and feelings
The way you think about yourself and others changes because of the trauma. This symptom has many aspects, including the following: 
• You may not have positive or loving feelings toward other people and may stay away from relationships.
• You may forget about parts of the traumatic event or not be able to talk about them.
• You may think the world is completely dangerous, and no one can be trusted.
4. Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal)
You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. You might suddenly become angry or irritable. This is known as hyperarousal. Yes…
 For example:
• You may have a hard time sleeping.
• You may have trouble concentrating. 
• You may be startled by a loud noise or surprise. Definitely. 
• You might want to have your back to a wall in a restaurant or waiting room. Yes. Or, could be I read too many spy/suspense novels.  

I wonder if humor is a part of this -- using humor as a deflection, an expression, and a way to both avoid yet confront the event. I know I use humor a lot. The list above mentions avoidance quite a bit, but on the other hand, I wonder about obsession, or, if that sounds too judgmental, an avid interest in the event. Since that orb sighting, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, or anything else remotely connected. That rabbit hole is endless, bottomless, and I'm still tumbling down…

Sean Meers and His Rants

While some in UFO Land lament that which offends and "gives UFOlogy a bad name" like contactees or telepathic communications with UFOs and Sasquatch, the real things that continue the circus vibe inherent in UFOlogy are the hyper sensitive and trollish. Such as Meers, who has included me in his list of supposed harassers.

I wrote a post some time back about Meers being a self-appointed UFO Police officer, wanting to censor those he disagrees with. Anyone disagreeing is guilty of "hate mail" and other offenses. Then I responded with a post, and he responded on his site with his response of my response.

I know, it's non-productive and a bit immature but on the other hand, it is sometimes necessary to call out those who obsess and, while not lying, exactly, certainly are highly disingenuous in their melodramatic defenses. This, like it or not, is a part of UFOlogy. And while it's true that not too much attention should be given, now and then it is a worthy act to occasionally show them up for many reasons. One, yes, they're a distraction. Possibly even intentionally; ops or professional trolls, literal agents of disinformation and misdirection. Two, within the obsessive minutuate of people like Meers, the lies are present and therefore spread thoughout UFO Land, which shouldn't always be tolerated. Now and then it's okay to rattle the cage.

Anyway, the latest from him:

Case Related Hate Mail - The Linda Cortile UFO Abduction Case Website: A Brief Commentary on the Latest Harassment from Regan Lee
The most recent hate mail entry from Regan Lee is extremely contradictory in nature. At first Regan Lee argues that the material she’s written does not constitute hate mail, then she concedes that she did in fact make an ad hominem attack, then she indicates that she stands by her ad hominem attack characterisation.
-- Sean F. Meers
December 30, 2015

According to Meers, my opinions are "harassment" and "hate mail" -- even though it wasn't "mail" at all, as in email or snail mail, but my blog post.

My post was not "extremely" contradictory -- I was pretty clear. I called him a thug because I think he is a thug because, as I explained, anyone who demands that others shut up just because they want them too is a "thug."

Once again: personal opinions are not "hate mail," nor "harassment" and saying someone is a bully (thug) isn't necessarily an ad hominem attack.

But most of us know all that.

Orange orb Archives -

List of orange orb ufo sightings from around the globe: Orange orb Archives - Scroll down a bit for an orange orb sighting in Grants Pass, Oregon from January of this year.

"Gang Stalking" in UFO Land

Cyber bullying exists. As a victim of that myself, let me tell you! Gang stalking is a form of your all around bullying, but sounds a lot more technical and ominous. Mind control and all manner of nefarious methods employed by some to harass others. Including on-line.

Both exist. Serious, real gang stalking is not amusing. But being vocal about one's opinion; that is not "gang stalking." So, in UFO Land (and elsewhere) do not confuse, whether one is being disingenuous or just melodramatic, being vocal with "gang stalking."

We have so many reasons why ufology is not "taken seriously." Contactees. Abductions. Bigfoot and UFOs. Ancient Aliens. Still clinging to Roswell.  Etc. None of those reasons are why "ufos aren't taken seriously." The fact that we continue to eat our own, whine about disagreements, and mock each other (true, some deserve mocking, but you don't have to get so smug about it when you do it) doesn't help matters. But the reason why ufology isn't taken seriously is -- and I've said this many times through the years -- the set-up. It's fringe, always has been, always will be. By its nature, all anomalous activity is considered suspect by the infrastructure. Some in UFO Land don't understand this simple fact. It's an interdiction.

The only way ufos might be "taken seriously" is if the mothership of motherships lands somewhere big, aliens disembark from the craft, the whole thing is broadcast globally, and government officials admit the "truth." (Even with the admission that aliens and UFOs are real, there will still be a lot that will remain hidden.) Disclosure, maybe. Full disclosure, no.

What this have to do with "gang stalking?" Not much, I did go off point for a moment. I suppose one small way of being a squeaky wheel that irritates the infrastructure is to be honest, which means, being vocal and unafraid. Accusing those whose opinions you don't like of "gang stalking" contributes to the misdirection that "ufology isn't taken seriously."

Unusual Sound Keeping Oregon Residents Awake and Baffled

Mystery high-pitched noise keeps Oregon town awake at night | US news | The Guardian:
"An unexplained high-pitched tone has kept residents of a Portland suburb awake at night for at least a week, confounding the best efforts of police and firefighters to pinpoint its source."

What's odd, as reported in the news item, is that the sound had appeared "decades ago" and is only heard at night. It was a mystery then and a mystery now. Before listening to the audio provided in the article, I thought it might be a bird call. But it's definitely a mechanical sound. To me, sounds like metal scraping against something. Whatever it is, it's a mystery.

This Just In: Dolan Posts on FB; UFO Land Goes Crazy

I can't take it anymore. People I respect in UFO Land going after each other based on presumed notions about what is respectable and worthy… oy. Latest in the round of nonsense: the outrage, yes, outrage, over Richard Dolan posting a little post about his haircut. Suddenly, because of that simple, mundane post, the UFO realm has now been destroyed. At least that what's some think.

It's Facebook. How many of us -- myself included -- have posted images of our new shoes, or hair color, or other trivial (yet fun) stuff? We're supposed to be "friends" - - it's Facebook, not the "I'm So Damn Intellectual and Above This Nonsense Because I Take UFO Research Seriously and You Don't" book.

Dolan has contributed greatly to UFO research, and continues to do so. One might not always agree with him, but, like many a researcher out there in the UFO public eye (because let's face it, no one much outside of UFO Land cares, much) they're doing something. And yet, goddess forbid a researcher posts about a haircut. By the way, Nick Redfern posts things along these lines -- no one's screamed at him about that.

I don't get it. Relax. UFO research is never going to be taken seriously anyway by the infrastructure; that globalist cabal of overlords that own us all. All we can do here in UFO Land is continue on the research path that calls to us, and try not to eat our own.

Now, outrage over some things, like, oh, David Jacobs … that's worthy of such responses. Call researchers on their stuff like that, not whether or not they post a pic of their new haircut.

Again. Seriously.

"Aliens are Real"

We see this often; the statement on social media and throughout the internet that "aliens are real." I agree with that, aliens are real, and I won't argue that with the debunker crowd. (Just like I don't argue my case with them on ghosts, UFOs, etc.)

But, the question is, not are aliens real, but what do we mean by "aliens?"
Exchange the word "alien" for "God" and it's the same idea. I believe in "God" but, as I've discovered through the years, my idea of "God" is very different from the majority's, at least in our culture.  My Christian friends definitely disagree with me on this conception of "God." (Yes, I'm an old hippie flower child, believing that "god" is all, everywhere, within and without, consciousness and star stuff. A bearded man in the sky who sent his son, who was also him, what?! -- no.)

So we throw the words around -- alien, God, -- and assume we're on the same page. Oh dahlings, we are so not!

For that matter, I'll even throw in UFOs, for our definitions of that seeming obvious term has different meanings for different people. (Debunkers and skeptics often like to be cute and insist that when using the term "UFO" 'everyone knows we're really talking about aliens from space.' Bless their disingenuous hearts.)

"Aliens are real," sure. But that belief, that opinion, doesn't stop there with the acknowledgement that "they" exist. We really have two questions -- what are aliens -- and, which ones are talking about -- in what context?

Were the "aliens" listening in on our conversations -- invisible yet very distinct  presence felt by many -- aliens from outer space? Another planet? Or an energy? Something co-existing with us here on earth? Something mystical/spiritual, like angels? Djinn? Even something co-created, even unconsciously, by us via our intense discussions of the subject? A sort of UFO tulpa?

What of the beings seen by landed ships and inside craft?

The list of weird unexplained beings that are non-human but described as "alien" is a long one, as well as a varied. We can't simply put the idea of "alien" into one category, acknowledge its existence, then feel as if we've solved something.

Just trying to define terms is exhausting in the land of the weird, and we realize how complex the "thing" (UFO, alien, er, "God") really is.

The Driverless Car

Everything about this memory is off -- weird, like a scene from a David Lynch movie. A FARGO vibe, (without the snow), Wenders, Jarmusch...anyway. 

I’m little, around eight. Certainly under ten. I don’t know why I’m here; don’t remember being here before, or going back later. I don’t remember leaving to get there, or what happened  afterwards. With my grandmother, I think she’s the one who brought me here. Visiting someone, for some reason. 

There’s a garage here, a full on mechanics shop. I remember the garage painted a pale blue color.  We’re out in a rural area, surround by desert. A crumbly  grayish -white house a few yards from the garage. I’m playing outside, by myself, and not much to do, except scratch around in the ocher dust, which I do. I remember being annoyed by the barely heard music from a transistor radio in the garage. I remember the radio as being red, sitting on a shelf. No people around.  And thinking: why do people just barely turn on their radios, then leave? Here I am, outside, alone, in this strangle place, the music a constant thin hum of metallic irritation in the air. 

I’m watching red ants. I’ve never seen red ants before. Thousands of red ants, and I’m careful not to get them on me. I suppose my grandmother is inside the house. I don’t remember if I was forbidden to go inside, or what, but I don’t remember being inside or who the people were we were visiting. So I’m outside, watching red ants. It’s quiet -- except for that stream of ghost music -- and it’s silent out here. No other people, or houses or buildings that I remember. Across the dirt road  there is just open space; dry fields, brown grass.

A black car drives up the road. I get up to see who it is. And I’m confused, because I don’t see a driver in the car. I move around, to get a better look, thinking I’m not seeing things correctly. The car is moving very slowly. No matter how I move around, I can’t see a driver in the car. The windows are not blacked out in any  way-- it’s simply the fact of no driver. I remember seeing the black car, no driver, up on a little hill, as if the road rose up a little in front of the house. The car slowly continued on, after slowing down and pausing at the house, the garage, the red ant filled yard, before continuing on. And still, no driver.

Not a dream, remembered for some strange reason decades later. A memory, and why this seemingly mundane one that still sticks? Within the memory however are odd details: the why of us being there, the where, just me and my grandmother, and, of course, the driver less car. 

An anomalous event, definitely. Whether it's paranormal, supernatural, UFO related (cover memory?)  or a MIB  type encounter, who can say. 

Orange orb Archives -

Found this while surfing: Orange orb Archives -

Interviewed by MUFON's Erica Lukes

Last week I was interviewed by MUFON's Utah state director, Erica Lukes, on her UFO Audit podcast.  I had a lot of fun! Erica is very interested in orange orb sightings. The interview took some giddy turns for sure. You can listen here: UFO Audit. 

Mysterious Universe on Orbs, and more

Video and article on sightings, including an orb dropping another orb. Orb very small and far away:

At Saucer, Orbs and Volcano Visitor in Latest UFO Sightings | Mysterious Universe: 

The “exact same thing” refers to the orb pulsating before dropping another orb, which falls for a time before disappearing. The sighting was near Fairchild Air Force Base but the report could not positively link it to any military, commercial or drone activity. And nobody could explain what the orb dropped. (Mysterious Universe; Paul Seaburn)

Embarking on a FOIA Request

I've decided to do a FOIA, and went to the official site for info. Those who have filed FOIAs, like John Greenwald of The Black Vault, know very well what's involved. I've known that it takes patience and persistence, but had no idea how deep this little rabbit hole goes. All I've done so far is look on-line at the various agencies -- and the departments within those agencies -- and my head is already spinning. But I will go ahead, and post what I've found (if anything) when my requests are filled. Optimistically, I say…

Orange Orb Threads on Reddit

Exploring discussions of orbs, orange and otherwise, on Reddit.com, I found this post referencing a book Voices From The Cosmos. Follow the link to read an excerpt from the book, where, via telepathic communication, a "large gray" reveals that orbs are "energy."

The Orange orbs Phenomenon. : UFOs: "Here's an interesting excerpt from the book "Voices from the Cosmos" about the orbs. http://imgur.com/cF9GbYR" (Reddit.com)

From alienviews: "Odd Observation #7"

Writing about how we tell ourselves we shouldn't be seeing what we clearly are seeing, even if we don't know what it is we are seeing, Alfred Lehmberg shares a memory, and much more:

alienviews: Odd Observation #7: Back at the barbecue, I would suggest, now, that my two fellow aviators and I followed the programming hypnosis of "polite" society and ignored a sighting that should have been VERY interesting to two professional military instructor pilots and one candidate astronaut, one would have thought!We reflexively and very neatly self-hypnotized ourselves with the calming mantra: "It's got to be something... It's got to be something..." Meaning, of course, It's got to be something prosaic. I remember doing it.  At the time it made perfect sense... there were "bigger" (hah!) fish to fry. (Alfred Lehmberg)

So many times this has happened to me as well. One memory -- and, like Alfred's experience at the barbecue party where the sighting took place -- I too was at a barbecue party. Summer, outdoors, near the evening but still light out. Standing around in a little circle, talking, and I'm looking up into the sky. Waaay up there, a cigar shaped object, brilliant turquoise blue, slowly traveling through the air. The blue color appeared to be more light than the color of the material of the object. Meaning, it appeared to be lit from within. It was moving slowly and seemingly randomly. Turning a little. Could have been a blimp, but I have never seen a blimp blue like that, and so high up!



We all looked up, agreed it was "weird," and went back to more mundane matters. No one offered an explanation, no one said "It's a blimp," or "That's a jet" or some such. No one said anything after that. I was the one considered an annoyance, by the fact I would still look up and comment on the object. My continuing to acknowledge its existence seemed to anger others. I've had this experience many times, as have others. Once you look up, and point out what you observe, well, how dare you upset the paradigm.



So accusations of you being a "UFO nut" or "believing in little green men" are made, jokes about anal probes and tunes from X-Files and Twilight Zone whistled all to denigrate and trivialize. When in fact, the weird-thing-in-the-sky could very well be man made, a drone, weather monitoring, spy technology, who knows. Or as yet unknown natural event. Or, indeed, a UFO from outer space. Anything, but something decidedly strange, different, unique and so far unexplained. Something that demands our attention and curiosity, regardless if it's alien or other. And yet, many reject the further investigation and dismiss the weird thing seen as unimportant.

Unanswered

Many ways to get at What Happened. One method: place all the events in a linear pattern, step back, and see if there is a pattern. Once placed, do the individual events appear less singular, and more of a cohesive picture? Using art as an analogy - - is the painting abstract, representative, surreal? Any of those genres, as different and specific as they are, would work. It's subjective. 

But of all the UFO encounters I've had, I'm focusing on the orange orb sighting for now. Even so, this supposed one time sighting spills over and drags with it from the past other events. Impossible to be strictly linear. 

Questions:

Location

1. Why is it that, to this day and decades later, my husband and I still argue over where we were living when the sighting took place. Barely beginning to discuss the sighting, we get extremely annoyed with each other about the fact of where we were living. We don't disagree about the sighting -- that most certainly occurred. Color, shape, agreed. Where we were living, argument is sure to happen. 

Context is important. This sighting was something unique; yet periphery facts are confused. Not the sighting itself, but the stuff around it. Why? Why this difference in memory that remains to this day?

2. Apathy and Confusion

Apathy is something many witnesses report during sightings. An acknowledgement something weird occurred, then a shrug and off to bed. With the orange orb sighting, I recall being very excited, almost manic, running to the phone and picking up the receiver before putting it back down without calling anyone. I didn't know who to call. Didn't know about MUFON then; the only places I could think of were the police, the airport, or the media. After that, I went over to our front door, thinking I would go outside to look for the orb, which had dropped down into a neighbor's backyard. Hand on the doorknob, then realizing how ridiculous that was. What was I going to do, go outside, in the dark, and walk around someone's property? I could at least go outside, walk up the little hill and across the road, and peer into their backyard from the street. But something stopped me. Fear, apathy, I don't know.

Jim remembers none of this. He also insists (the argument phase) that we weren't even living there at that time. The sighting, according to him, took place in our previous residence, an apartment approximately two miles away.

Another sighting

We both remember another sighting around the same time. It was late afternoon, still light but close to dusk.We were driving on Lorane highway (the same road we saw the orange orb)  and saw a round, spinning silver sphere  above a small pasture. The sphere was rotating slowly in the air, a beam of light emanating from underneath the craft onto the ground. We were both disturbed by this. Agreed it was very strange and creepy and had a strong sense of "let's get out of here." We didn't talk about it -- not like we did, and continue to do, with the orb.

Connections

Are these two sightings connected in some way? What are the chances of us seeing see UFO events on the same road -- seeing two events at all? Some  UFO researchers suggest that there is no coincidence in these things. A history of sightings, complete with odd memories and time distortions, as well as dream related phenomena, does indicate something more than random weirdness.