From Jack Brewer at The UFO Trail: Steinberg Bankruptcy Failed to Slow Claims of Cash Crisis

Brewer always has great insights into UFO Land. Here's a recent blog by Brewer on Paracast's Gene Steinberg, whom I am no fan of, mainly due to his response to Emma Woods and his defense of David Jacobs. For years, Steinberg has been begging for cash donations because... well, just because. Maybe I should start in on this; asking for donations. We have a house, but it's shabby. Husband's retired, I'm working but worn out. Need work done but can't really afford it. Oh, we get by, and are really fine -- we're still in love, and happy, and have shelter and food and employment, but still. I should get paid for writing Very Deep Thoughts About Things, don't you agree? So send me some money.



Anyway, in the meantime, this from Steinberg is certainly ironic, since he's been shilling himself for years:

The UFO Trail: Steinberg Bankruptcy Failed to Slow Claims of Cash Crisis: "My financial struggles are none of your business," Steinberg wrote, adding that he demands others and I cease trolling him and posting what he termed false information. (Jack Brewer, The UFO Trail)

My Ego

I always give credit to those that inspire me. If I read an article, someone's blog, book, or even a social media comment that motivates me to comment, rant or rave, I give a nod to the source.

I find it both amusing and slightly annoying when I read something on, say, a blog, a day or two after I've written about the very same thing, and no credit is given. No "I saw this on Regan Lee's Orange Orb blog and got to thinking .  . . " just an obvious riff on what I recently wrote about. There are a specific few blogs that do this consistently. But, since I am disliked by some (aren't we all?) as well as considered uneducated and even mentally unbalanced, no surprise there.

It's my own personal button-that-hates-to-be-pushed, this. It's a cousin to being called a liar. For whatever reason, or reasons, I hate being accused of lying when I most certainly have done no such thing. I've felt this way since I was a child.

Nadine Lalich on 'Sleep Paralysis'

Nadine  Lalich wrote an interesting counter to the whole sleep paralysis is nothing but that explanation.

I've had sleep paralysis since I was a kid, as well as that pulling-tugging feeling, voices, etc. I've also had numerous UFO experiences, going back to when I was a child. For half my life, I assumed these experiences: the sleep paralysis, leaving the body (different from the pulling tugging, though similar), voices, sensing (sometimes seeing) presences in the room, were normal. It wasn't until I attended a health fair at the local hospital that, according to them, all this is considered a 'disorder.' Not in my book.

Coast to Coast's George Noory Pushes Newsmax

New television program: Newsmax. Coast to Coast's George Noory pushed this program on his radio show. Newsmax is a conservative channel. A few of the various pundits demonstrate this right wing bias.  Conservative ex-congressman Joe Walsh, who aligns himself with the tea party and, according to Wikipedia, told Obama to "secure our borders with moats and alligators." Walsh had a career in broadcasting before joining Newsmax. Here's a bit of Walsh for you:

On July 7, 2016, the night of the 2016 shooting of Dallas police officers, Walsh wrote on Twitter, "This is now war. Watch out Obama. Watch out Black Lives Matter punks. Real America is coming after you." These comments were interpreted by some as threats.^[79][80] After deleting the tweet (by his account it was deleted by Twitter), Walsh wrote later, "I wasn't calling for violence, against Obama or anyone. Obama's words and BLM's deeds have gotten cops killed. Time for us to defend our cops."^[81] The next morning, Walsh stated in an interview with the Chicago Tribune that Twitter suspended his account and deleted the tweet itself: "The pre-condition for me reopening my account was they had to delete that tweet." He said, "Of course I didn't mean 'let's go kill Obama and Black Lives Matter.' I was not trying to incite violence against Obama and Black Lives Matter. That's crazy and stupid and wrong. It would end my career and it's wrong."^[82]
On October 24, 2016, Walsh wrote on Twitter, "On November 8th, I'm voting for Trump. On November 9th, if Trump loses, I'm grabbing my musket. You in? (Wikipedia)

Alan Dershowitz is also a member of the Newsmax crew. I know, surreal, but he's been out there for awhile. Supporting Trump proves that.

Callista Gringrich, ex of Newt, is also a pundit.

African American Jesse Lee Peterson, Biil O;Reilly (!)

And on and on.

So what this have to do with UFOs?

I've written beofre about those holding right wing views -- particularly Trump supporters -- who are also involved in UFO research. (and by extension, other types of paranormal research.) Why does this matter? Should it matter?

It does matter. Our views are part of who we are; how we percieve things. If you're conservative, to the point you are so brain damaged you support Trump, how can you be trusted to not judge based on class, race, cultural affiliation, religion?

Joining the far right and being a UFO/paranormal researcher seems contradictory. The government covers up, but, we trust the government, don't we? Not only does the government cover up, but experiments upon its own citizens. Why support such a government?

To be fair, much of the left -- the majority, in my non-scientific experience -- seems to simply ROFL when it comes to UFOs and the supernatural. That's not good either.

I've mentioned before how, years ago, I spoke with Peter Davenport about a UFO sighting I had. He is very conservative, politically. So he scolds me for being hesitant to report it since I had a "duty as an American" (his words) to report such things. A duty to whom? My government, who denies, lies, hides and manipulates the UFO phenomena?

It seems insane, this, not patriotic feeling, but nationalistic behavior, in context of UFO study.

UFO 'Expert' vs. Experiencer

Recent Facebook discussion between Andy Colvin, Ted Roe, and many others regarding Tom DeLonge, Peter Levenda, and so much more inspired me to blog. A comment that non-UFO experinceres and witnesses are often somehow assumed to be UFO 'experts.' If they've never seen or experienced UFO related events, how 'expert' can they be? Excellent point.

Am I an 'expert?' Life long experiences regarding UFOs, and much more in the Fortean/anomalous/paranormal realm. Much more. My own experience has led me down the path of UFO study for decades. Am I an 'expert?' Only as to my own experiences. My own truth. The academics of UFOs; the history, details of specific cases, meh. I know more than people outside of UFO Land, true. I have my own experiences. All the UFO researchers as well as skeptics can argue with me about what I've been through, but they weren't there. I was.

On the other hand, many people studying Mothman, Sasquatch, Chupacabra, etc. have not seen these creatures for themselves. But they could be considered 'experts' because of their research. Collecting stories, witness accounts, histories. I am no expert in those areas, but I have given a lot of study to Sasquatch, though I've never seen one. Not once. And yet I believe it exists. Why do I believe this? Because of my own experiences concerning the realm of the strange. Because of my own study in this area. Because of the numerous witnesses I've met with. Because of some odd experiences I've had connected with Bigfoot but not a sighting. Because, ... why not?

So is there a belief factor here in giving credit to someone who is assumed to be an 'expert' even if they haven't seen a UFO, etc. themselves?

My point is that there are no parameters for what makes someone an expert in this field. And there shouldn't be. As soon as we start up with the UFO Police, we've only added another wheel-within-the-wheel of research.

One can be an expert in a specific area: the history of WWII UFOs, or any single aspect of this multi-tentacled phenomena. But that still doesn't make one a expert in the field. It's too vast a realm.

I don't think it matters, much if a researcher has had experiences, but it does matter that we anoint some as 'experts,' and reject others because of our own ideas about things.

The Owl, the Tree, and Sasquatch

A few days ago I posted about this:      A Synchronicity Diamond UFO Memory
The other day, another synchronicity. Talking with someone who said "Your name came up last night." This person was hiking with a mutual friend, they saw an owl. Discussion on whether or not it was really an owl. It looked like an owl! but, was it moving? Closer look. Turns out it was part of the tree, that, in the last light of day (they went to watch the sunset) everything worked together to give the appearance of an owl. For whatever reason, this made them think of Sasquatch. Wondering if Bigfoot could be around these parts. The mutual friend said "I think Regan wrote a book about Sasquatch."

Well, I did, in a way. Decades ago I self-published a short book on two Oregon Bigfoot stories. Printed them up, sold them on e-bay. Sold them all, to my surprise. But also, to my embarrassment, because, of course, it was pretty terrible. Compared to what I know now. Craig Woolheater has a copy; I told him to never let it see the light of day!

The conversation then turned to owls and UFOs. My friend had never heard of the owl-UFO connection before, but she was very open to experiences, and shared some of her own with me. For some reason, I told her about missing time -- not only missing time, but my own experience with missing time. This to a co-worker. I had the sense she would be accepting, which she was.

I'll be sharing Mike Cleland's owl books with her. (Of which, in MIke's first book The Messengers, he refers to me as a "maybe abductee." I don't know if I, and my spouse, were abducted, or what, but I do know we had a UFO sighting and missing time, along with a list of psychic type experiences afterwards.)

From UFO Stalker: Diamond UFO report

 UFO Stalker. 



Following the synchronicity path, a report from Utica, New York from UFO Stalker's site on current diamond UFO sightings. See my post below on my own long ago diamond UFO sighting and synchronicity.

A Synchronicity Diamond UFO Memory

Many years ago, I saw a diamond shaped UFO.

I was in bed, curtains open. Looking at the night sky. It was around midnight. I'd been looking through the window off and on for what seemed hours -- couldn't get to sleep. Suddenly I noticed what I assumed was a star, or planet, very very bright. Aside from its brightness, it seemed not only larger than a typical star, but shaped differently. I got out of bed to look out the window. Yes, this sparkling brilliant 'star' was diamond shaped. It was always turning. In place, stationary, but revolving. Around and around. Spinning. I watched it closely. I wanted to make sure I wasn't just seeing the normal effect (autokinetic effect) -- that perception that stars are moving. But it wasn't that, because it wasn't a star or planet. It wasn't there at all, then, it was. It was much larger and brighter than a star or planet. It truly was moving in place; spinning. I look at the sky all the time, and I would have noticed the appearance during the night of any bright star or planet in that place. 

I watched it for what seemed like hours. Spinning in place. Large. Bright. Not moving across the sky. 

A few days later, I was at the home of a woman who did my nails. She was very interested in UFOs, and had seen a few in her life. She told me that she had noticed a strange light in the sky recently, and proceeded to describe the diamond shaped light I saw. 

It didn't come back. If it had been a star, it would have made more than one appearance in the sky.

Our Big Fat Massive Pentagon Multi-Researcher Government UFO Reveal

Listening to C2C this past Sunday night, host, George Knapp. Guest: Dr. Eric Davis discussing UFOs. Points -- important points -- UFOs are real. As Knapp said, "Duh." What they are, that's another question. Although Eric Davis did say the origins of UFOs are "non-human." Inter, outer, inner, other . . . but not human. So far, fine.

Lots of researchers of the nuts and bolts kind involved in the Pentagon's study of UFOs. Although Davis did say that there is a definite paranormal aspect to UFOs. (Which is clear, and something many a UFO witness, including myself, has experienced.)  Bigelow Aerospace Advanced Space Studies (BAASS) involvement in this has always troubled me. Davis blithely acknowledged many conclusions remain classified, and (paraphrasing) will never be released to the public. At the top: Bigelow, who has said in the past that people don't have the right to know everything. Bigelow is a private citizen. A wealthy one, with all kinds of connections to government as well as industry, including aviation. A sort of anomalous Howard Hughes type. 

I definitely have mixed feelings about Bigelow. He's poured a lot of money into paranormal research. He's gathered people of various disciplines to study UFOs and the anomalous realm. On the other hand, he's too damn cozy with both government and private industry. Both factions include those who don't give a damn about the truth concerning findings and how it will affect our society as well as culture. They only care about how those findings can benefit them. The rest of hoi poli be damned. We don't get to know. 

Bigelow has had his own UFO experiences, which he doesn't talk about. I do love the fact that he doesn't care what people think about his opinions and beliefs concerning UFO reality. He has the wealth and connections to make things happen with research. Who hasn't daydreamed about having all the money in the world to spend on paranormal and UFO research? (Well, if you're a saucer nerd, that is.) 

There's Bigelow's work with NASA. He wants to go out to space. Trump wants a 'Space Force.' MUFON. NIDS. Skinwalker Ranch. Project BEAM. BAASS. Conspiratorial minds are busy musing on the implications.

From the beginning, and more so as time has gone on, I've had a nagging feeling about Bigelow and those he works with -- something not right. 

Government has acknowledged UFOs are real. The rest of the world goes on. There's been a kind of shrug and 'hmm, interesting' response to this news and then, nothing. But what can we do? Regardless of UFOs, the world, and the U.S., is in a rotten and sad state. I'm not naive or ignorant, of course I'm aware and involved in the very real day to day madness of our current POTUS and what he has unleashed in our world. It's sick, it's deranged, it's bad.

So no wonder the obvious news of late from the Pentagon, from mainstream publications like the New York Times, that UFOs are real doesn't cause the huge reaction it might have not long ago. Meanwhile, much of what our government, as well as private industry and a handful of citizens knows about UFOs remains hidden.

I've long believed that the government knows a hell of a lot more than it says it does, that information released to the public is on need to know basis, and, the information itself is parceled out according to their needs at the moment. Does anyone out here really believe that all is revealed?

Trumpsters and the Fringe Realm

I've written in the past about what I see as a contradiction between ultra right wingers -- especially Trump supporters -- and the world of the weird. Recent actions by the POTUS have me wondering, once again, why this is so. Those who are UFO, cryptid, anomalous researchers who are also crazy over Trump baffle me. How could you support Trump -- and continue to support the POTUS -- while delving into the world of the unexplained?

 UFOs
Looking at UFOs -- either they're ours, or they're something else non-human. ET, earth bound entities, something. If they're ours, that means governments the world over are messing with us. Why support such systems? If the UFOs are of the 'other' -- ET, etc. we better look out. Either the ETs, aliens, or spirits are benign, or malevolent. If the former, they aren't going to be happy with our supporting of such hateful, greedy, ignorant, bigoted men like Trump. If the beings have nasty intent, they aren't going to care about us at all. Only in terms of what we can do for them. And after that, we're lunch. So again, why support dictatorships?

Sasquatch and other Cryptids
This category has its own set of problems. Those who think there's a paranormal aspect to Sasquatch often find themselves attacked by pro-Sasquatch folks. If you think Sasquatch is simply an animal, and, you're into hunting for sport generally, it's not surprising you'd be a Trump supporter. But if you think beyond the idea Bigfoot is 'just an ape' that means you're of the mind things are not what they seem. Conspiracies about the government's cover-up of the existence - if this is true, why support a government that keeps such things from us? Or, as with the case of UFOS, do these right wingers think the liberals are doing all the covering up?

Not likely since many on the left mock anything that suggests the paranormal and supernatural. As much as I like left pundits like Colbert, Maher, Stewart, Noah, etc. I get irritated at them when they make fun of anything to do with the paranormal. They get pretty smug when it comes to those topics. So it's unlikely the liberals are behind the scenes of covering up strange things.

Two Worlds
Ghosts. UFOs. Strange creatures. And more; a long list of unexplained, mysterious happenings through the centuries. Clearly, for those of us are study these things -- who've experienced these things -- know there is another world out there. Much more than the mundane. This acceptance of these worlds suggests an open mind, an embracing mind. Minds and hearts that are bigger than our often petty human concerns. Which seems to go against the mind-set of Trump.

Urban Legends: The Giant Cockroach

Urban legends are often based on truths. Our real fears, the elaborate retellings of actual events, cultural frameworks, beliefs and values, regional lore, and good old scare and thrill the hell out of  your friends are part of urban legends.

One I remember that I believed was the giant cockroach at UCLA. Story was, scientists at UCLA raised a cockroach the size of a poodle to test pesticides. This cockroach -- the size of a small dog -- was resistant to all poisons. Nothing would kill it. In fact, it seemed to like the stuff. Finally, the scientists had to kill the giant cockroach by shooting it with a gun.

Why did I believe this? Aside from the fact I was gullible, and young (although, how young is young before you're stupid? I was 19 or 20.) I lived in L.A. UCLA was big time smart. Scientists knew everything. Working hard to improve things for the rest of us. Cockroaches were also smart. We were told we'd perish in a nuclear event, but not cockroaches. They'd survive. L.A. cockroaches were disgusting and brazen. Who wouldn't want to see the bastards die? And ones the size of poodles? Pandering to our fears -- I can't think of anything more terrifying than that.

All reasons for my belief of this tale.

I haven't done research on this regarding origins of this tale. Simply remembering the story when it was told to me. We were in a roomful of people; the person telling it, I remember, believed it. Or, was a good actor.

#Metoo in the Fringe

Not to say males have been notoriously lousy with each other when it comes to UFO Land ... And Beyond! -- but women in this field have also experienced really vile stuff. No, this is not 'old news' --- it's been going on, it  continues to go on.

I've been a feminist since I was fifteen. That's a few months shy of fifty years. Same shit, same shit. More awareness, more men speaking out against misogynist behavior, and yet, still. . . it does goes on. Just because it may not be going 'as much,' (that is sarcasm by the way) or, that many good men are also aware, doesn't mean us women folk have to stop pointing out the obvious.

In this process of speaking out, is accountability. And it seems to be, that many have been given a huge pass in this field. Stalking, lies, name calling, threats, calling to question a woman's mental stability, her sexuality (real or imagined), and more,is a huge NOT OKAY. And yet, when these behaviors have been blogged about, discussed, pointed out, the ones responsible for these behaviors go on about their business. They still blog, post on Facebook -- oh, now under their 'real names' so that makes it okay. As if their previous behavior was simply a creative exercise in Anomalous Street Theater -- they get invited to speak at UFO conferences, their work is published, men and women (sigh) support them.

Yes, woman are more present and vocal in this field. All the time. And there have always been some women in this field. I'm not talking so much here as to the number of women in this field, but the behavior directed towards them, as well as the lack of accountability.

One more point: I've had some women say to me in various anomalous fields -- Bigfoot research, etc. -- that they've never had any problems at all.  As if this somehow diminishes, or dismisses completely, the experiences of those who have  encountered such behaviors from males. This is not an argument, or, a contest. If we can't extend respectful listening and non-defensive responses to our sisters, then how can we expect researchers to be respectful and non-judgemental to witnesses?

Updated: Missing Time DreamTiny UFO Synchronicities of the Day

Posted below yesterday. Last night, had a disturbing dream of being at work; but I was late in returning from lunch. Three hours late. In the dream, I had absolutely no memory of what had happened. I didn't know where I was during those three hours. I told co-workers I was very concerned, missing time -- scary! Was I losing my mind? Slowly, other co-workers came forward, to say they too had had missing time in the past day or two. They did not know where they had been, what happened. Someone mentioned "aliens" and we all fell silent. No one wanted to open up that can of worms. None of us solved the mystery of the missing time.

________________________________

Nothing much, but the ever attuned mystic-synchro mind couldn't help but note that today:

     Woke up with a nosebleed. Me, at 64. Used to get them all the time when I was a child. But now?
     Nothing so sinister, alien wise. Far more likely that the nosebleed had to do with allergies. Which are really bad, worse than usual, in the "Valley of Sickness" here in the Willamette Valley in Oregon. And in fact, a co-worker had a nosebleed recently, as well as a fifth grader. This morning's local paper even had an article on the bad allergy laden air around these parts.


     Chatting with a co-worker on the way in this morning; we mentioned our sleep and dream patterns, etc. and she says "I've had dreams about aliens, but they're just dreams. At least I tell myself that." (paraphrasing.) So I of course say "Are you sure they're just dreams?" and "How do you know?" (they're just dreams.) I tell her we have to talk; she tells me she's not sure she believes in aliens, and yet, but, . . . I tell her about how "I'm all about that stuff!" and she seemed interested.

     Late this afternoon, my spouse mentions the Monk episode of the UFO. As much as we are fond of that show, when it came to UFOs, oh, it's sad. Typical take on the tin foil hat wearing joke heads who "believe" in UFOs. And oh, yes, the "UFO" turned out not to be a UFO at all, of course. Because there are not such things.

(Update) From My UFO Journal: 1988 - Lobster Baby

In the 1980s I kept a UFO journal. Following my orange orb sighting, it seemed all kinds of UFO related events were taking place around me. Also psychic experiences, synchroniciites. Things have since calmed down a lot since that time (and I've wondered if age has anything to do with this.)

The following is from the journal, with a few comments I've added for clarity.

1988, Eugene, OR:

I had coffee with "Sheila." Sheila had a story to tell me. (I don't remember who "Sheila" was -- a co-worker? I think.) Sheila, involved with many contactees, occasionally gives workshops on the "UFO thing" as she put it. Her story: one night, a woman called her, saying she felt very ill. So ill, she was taken to the hospital's ER. She was told she was pregnant. This woman said that was impossible; no sex, no partner, etc. For weeks, this woman felt ill.

During a check-up visit, she was told she was no longer pregnant. She had no memory of a miscarriage, just that lingering feeling of being "ill."

After this, she started hearing voices, seeing "little gray men" and hearing a baby cry. The gray beings were in her living room, and the "Lobster Baby" as she called it, was also in the living room. The beings told her she wasn't ready yet to handle any of this. She had the intense feeling this lobster baby was hers, but "they" took it.

This woman told Sheila she was very frightened, of course, and afraid she was going crazy. Supposedly, she told Sheila, she was unfamiliar with abduction and UFO stories.

Sheila is trying to arrange for me to meet this woman, but so far, nothing.

__________________________

I never did meet this woman. Of course, I have no idea what really was happening here. Her description of "little gray men" is interesting, as the lost pregnancy and "lobster baby." 

A waking dream? Cover story for some sort of trauma? A retelling of a literal experience? Something in the middle? 

A few things I know for sure, but even so, no answers. Other, similar narratives exist in UFO lore. Changlings,mysterious pregnancies that disappear just as mysteriously. "Little gray men." And the fact that, immedialtey following my orange orb sighting and continuing for years, so many synchroniciites concerning UFO experiences that it makes my head spin.

Brene Brown: "Stories are data with a soul."

"Stories are data with a soul." ~ Brene Brown


Ms. Brown has nothing to do with UFO or fringe research. She describes herself as a "storyteller researcher" (or researcher storyteller) in social work. Brilliant and funny and very important, but for completely different reasons having nothing to do with the weird world of All This Stuff.

But her quote about stories as data had me thinking about the value of witnesses stories about their sightings and experience. I think we tend to listen, then go off in a quest to delve, research, dissect the story, leaving the witness in the dust, and getting rid of the parts that don't match our ideas about What Is Really Going On. Reptilians? Go away. It's messy!!!! Crazy messy.

But we need to calm down and get over ourselves as oh-so-serious-bona-fide UFO researchers and listen.



Brown talks about vulnerability. She went in search of it; what is it in the character that makes someone intentionally vulnerable? Willing to be vulnerable. Certainly witnesses to the fantastic make themselves vulnerable every time they tell their story.

I'm open. I've discussed my most strange paranormal/supernatural life in detail all over the place. Why? Not for money, that's for damn sure. I've put myself out there and have been threatened and stalked. Accused of lying, being a man (?!), wanting to be a man, trying to sound like a man (again: ???!!!), being Jewish, gay, not using my real name, threatened with rape, and violence -- specifically, stabbing me with a knife. All because I've experienced the weird and talk about it. And damn well fight back when accused of devious motives. Those from ones who cannot allow themselves to be vulnerable.

That is vulnerable. That is telling my story.

By telling my story, I connect. Not with everyone, not with the majority, not with the mainstream or accepted topics of conversation. But when I do connect, I connect. I continuously find myself engaging with others with similar interests and experiences. Often surprising connections. 

That's the point of Brown's TED talk: connecting. We're connected. Being vulnerable causes our connections to be authentic.

It's also messy, what with lairs, hucksters, unbalanced (even there, though, showing a vulnerability grown forth from a trauma), and so on. So what it's messy? A lot more work, but, there it is.